Bill Hicks ... a genius in my eyes. A man who knew the truth about how this world and society we live in stinks. A man who wasn't afraid to speak his mind about anything. A man who wasn't understood by his fellow countrymen. A man who the British public GOT! A man who was loved by the British and dismissed by the Yanks. A man who, when on the brink of finally being understood by his fellow countrymen and about to make it big in the USA, had a higher prescence step in and give him cancer. Cruel to say it I know, but I believe this higher prscence knew what he was doing. Bill Hicks was TOO GOOD for the Yanks.
I digress slightly but I hope to have made a point about how silly "our friends across the pond" are. I'm sure many people have enjoyed the Grand Theft Auto video games, and many of us sensible people - and I mean mainly british here - realise that due to the fact that it has a rating of 18+, that it is NOT aimed at Little Jimmy who goes to school to learn his ABC's.
Anyway, there has been a bit of a scene recently regarding the latest outing of the Grand Theft Auto series "San Andreas". Probably the best and biggest game of the series, it involves the normal scenario of being a small time crook of some description trying to make it big for some reason. Lot's of violence and various homage's to cultural icons has meant that it is a very popular title. The most recent one has been set in early 1990's with a location very similar to California, and most notably LA and San Fran. Obviously this has meant drugs, shooting and drive-bys to name but a few things you can do.
Included in this version, is the fact that to complete the game, you have to start dating various women throughout it. Normally this would mean taking them out, buying presents etc until you finally got invited in to give her a good knobbing! Once done you get various free access to a safe house, weapons, vehicles etc. Very usefull in order to complete the game. Nothing wrong with that I hear you say. Actually i'm sure a lot of people are thinking this is the very reason why nerds are lonely people - but that's another argument altogether. Anyway, on this basis the USA decided to give the game an "M" rating, meaning "Mature" and meant for 17+ year olds.
A few months ago some hackers and moders decided to produce this MOD called "Hot Coffee". In this MOD they managed to hack away to a previously locked part of the game which introduced a minigame where you actually were taken inside the house with the girlfriend and had to actually play the knobbing game. Not exactly porn lets face it, and all parties involved within the game were actaully wearing clothes. All very sad I know, but since this little gem got out, all hell has broken loose. The USA are now demanding all copies be removed from shelves, and they want it reclassed as an "AO" rating, meaning "Adult" for 18+ year olds. Yes you did see that right. 18+ instead of 17+.
So according to the holy than thou country known as the USA, you can be 17 years old and run around drug dealing and shooting people, and taking people out on dates, only to see the outside of the house when you start knobbing someone, but in order to see inside the house, and see two fully clothed animated sprites dry humping, you have to be 18. No wonder they didn't get Bill Hicks.
Jesus fucking christ! What is wrong with these bible bashing, red-neck, inbread fucks! Lets get on our high horse over some computer animated sprites getting it on, but sod the fact that we have a culture within high-schools where anybody different gets picked on and bullied every hour they are within the walls of these schools. Let's have gun shops everywhere within our country, and allow people to buy bullets within any high street shop. Wall Mart at one point did this, yes Wall Mart - the company that owns ASDA. You get the point now? Let's blame everything on other things apart from the real offenders. You want to blame all your childrens problems on video games, TV and film? Get a fucking life ... IT'S YOUR FAULT ... YOU THE PARENT ... YOU THE SCHOOL. My Little Jimmy went off the rails and started doing drugs. He then assaulted someone for money and went to prison. He then started sleeping around with any number of dirty skanks. It's all because of films and that evil game San Andreas. Of course it is. It wasn't your fault you didn't keep an eye on Little Jimmy. It wasn't your fault you didn't give him a loving environment to grow up in. It wasn't your fault that you didn't check what films and games he was playing as a child. It wasn't your fault you didn't know that his friend Billy Bob only lived with his crack-whore mum, and had easy access to drugs, guns, and whore's ... but even worse, it was the fault of those evil Leathal Weapon films and Grand Theft Auto games.
We have a version of these poeple here within the UK ... they all read the Daily Mail every day. God when will these cunts get off their high and mighty cunts and admit they probably aren't very good parents.
Now due to the fact that I have played the game myself, and have obviously been affected by this horrible thing, I will have to use my favourite phrase of the week and deliver some LEAD JUSTICE!!
And i'm spent!
